opening the conversation.
OK we have covered most of the non verbal stuff so it is time to go up and say hi. you do not need some clever scripted line here, a simple hi I’m (insert name here) pleased to meet you will get you a lot further than a cheesy pick up line ever will but just to give you guide lines on opening the conversation depends on the style that suits the occasion and your personality type. the main choices are situational, direct, xxx direct and observational which you can mix and match depending on where you are, who you are talking to and how brave you are feeling. we will look at each type individually then look at how you mix them together. remember we are only trying to spark her curiosity at this point so avoid heavy emotional stuff this early in the conversation and do not fall into the 20 questions game. the opening statement is just about establishing a fun friendly vibe with her and showing her you are an interesting person she should get to know.
Lets start with situational, this is using what is going on to start the conversation. an example of this would be if you where at a party and a girl was bopping her head to the music you could open with "hey great party isn't it? I see you love this song too. do you reckon we should go dance to it or just stay here bopping our heads in the background?" notice that I gave her a reason I was talking to her which is always a good idea and two options that both involved her hanging out with me which makes it harder to pick option three lol. there are many other variations you could go with like the us vs them vibe ("I see we are both to cool to go dance with this lot. who do you think is worse? the guy standing on the spot waving his arms or the one trying to break dance?") or the playful teasing (" I see you are still trying to work up the nerve to hit the dance floor. never mind maybe the next drink will do it.") or even role-play ("you don't look too busy. can you pretend to be my girlfriend, that girl over there has been stalking me all night. quick she is looking over, give me a hug.") but the point is you are talking about what is going on and what she is doing instead of asking some boring question like how do you know the host? or some cheesy line like do you come here often?
Now lets try applying these techniques to a different example. you are in a supermarket and you see a hot girl in the frozen food isle picking up a pizza. false option "well if you are buying us dinner then I should buy the wine. do you want red or white?", us vs them "at last a woman who eats real food. look at all these other women buying nothing but salad. they all look miserable, at least we know you should enjoy life.", teasing "really? frozen pizza? do you have no taste buds? lets go to the restaurant around the corner and get a proper fresh pizza." and role-play "honey you know I am allergic to pineapple. I told you to get the pepperoni. now lets get home and watch the movie" just look at the situation and have fun with it.
Observational is similar to situational but instead of the surroundings you are using things you see about her. what is it about her that you find interesting? her face, her body, her style, the way she smiles, the way she walks or her cute accent. something that says you want to talk to her and not just any woman in the room. again this is going back to giving a reason why you are talking to her and I think we should cover the psychology of why this is important. a study was done where a guy on a crowded train went up to people and asked for there seat, most people said no but when he repeated the study by saying "can I have your seat I have a bad leg" most people said yes, then just to see what happens they did the study again with a nonsense reason so he said "can I have your seat I have a nose" and amazingly most people still said yes lol. so giving a reason even a silly one helps a lot, now back to observation. as you are talking about her rather than the surroundings it tends to lend itself more to direct game which we will cover below but you can just go with observe and comment then question (false choice is optional), for example you see a girl with stunning green eyes and go up and say "I noticed your stunning green eyes from across the room and I thought you don’t see that often, do you have any Celtic blood in you?" (do you have any Irish in you?, do you want some? only works if your Irish lol) or you see a girl with bright pink hair and say "your hair looks amazing, are you into the cyber punk scene or is it natural?" or you just see a girl with a stunning body walking down the street and you go up to her and say "I saw this vision of loveliness coming towards me and was going to kick myself if I didn’t at least say hello, so hello I’m (insert name here) what’s your name?" there’s also " you have a great body, you must work out. is it yoga or something else?" but you get the idea.
Now we will cover direct and xxx direct at the same time as they are exactly the same but depend on how hardcore you are willing to go or the situation allows for. this is my favourite, it does take some balls to carry it off but if you have your body language and eye contact down pat and she is giving you strong indicators of interest then direct is your friend. what you are going to do here is cut the shit and get right to the point. you do not have to say, "I want to fuck you, lets go!" (although this can work lol) as I still like to give a reason I am interested in her rather than anyone willing to say yes and I may include a false choice again as above but that is a personal preference. if you are willing to go with anyone who says yes you can work that too with a line like "I see by the way you got dressed up tonight that like me you are D.T.F do you want to go to your place, my place or the bathroom?" at which point you will either get a runs away (shrug and move on) a yes let go to... (jackpot) or an overblown I don’t believe you said that! (let the games begin) if she stands around giving you shit then your job is to remain calm, stick to your guns and don’t back track or apologise. ignore her protests and just follow up with lines like "if you a couple of drinks first I understand. just come find me when you have built up enough Dutch courage." or "don’t worry, I got plenty of condoms." etc. but as long as she is still standing there then you just have to carry on until she accepts your frame or walks away, if she walks away do not follow her as this means you have gone from forthright dominant male who knows his mind to desperate creepy stalker guy who is pestering her. as long as she stands there arguing with you its still on, if she walks away then that is her right and you must respect it (and sometime if you don’t chase her she comes back anyway lol).
Back to stating reason I am interested in her rather than any port in a storm it is all the same as above but includes what you find interesting about her with either xxx direct like "I saw your great magnificent tits trying to escape your top and was picturing my dick sliding between them. are you the spontaneous type or do you need 5 mins to get to know me first?" or " I saw your beautiful eyes from across the room and would love to see them looking up at me while my cock is in between your perfect lips, will you grant my wish first or after I go down on you?" but if this is to strong for you then you can always go pg13 route with lines like "I saw your beautiful face and wanted to get to know the girl behind it, shall we find a quiet corner to talk or go to the coffee shop down the road with the great apple pie?" or if it is someone you meet on the street "I saw your gorgeous figure walking towards me and was going to kick myself if I did not talk to you. I am in a hurry now but would love to get to know you better, would you prefer me to email you or phone you to set up a date?" remember these are just examples to show you the structure I use, as direct is about honesty you should follow the structure to create sentences you would use as it is more congruent and once you get the hang of it you should be making honest and direct comments off the top of your head but until then you can use my formula of reason-statement of interest based on reason-false choice based on statement.
Now as you can see above all the techniques can be mixed and matched and blend into each other as long as you pay attention to her and what’s going on around you combined with how direct you are feeling brave enough to be you should never be stuck with what to say ever again and even if your brain does freeze you can even go with that "I saw you and wanted to talk to you so was trying to think up a reason but my brain has stopped working, I’m (insert name here) I think, you are?" so I just thought I should add a warning about using negative statements. by negative statements I mean ones like I’m not, I don’t or I never etc. this is because to think of what it is you don’t do there brain first has to picture you doing it and that is bad (unless you are using reverse psychology but we will cover that in a minute) as it is like the don’t think of pink elephants trick. you tell someone not to think of pink elephants and what is the first thing they think of? exactly. so lines like "don’t worry I’m not going to hurt you" are bad as you have put the idea of you hurting them into there head and the line "come on its not like I’m going to rape you is it?" as a joke is the worse thing you can say EVER! (I actually heard a guy in the pub say this once and the girl grabbed all her friends and left for another pub) so avoid telling people what you are not going to do at all costs and stick to positive statements and tell them what you are going to do "if you have any problems I’ll look after you" etc.
Of course you can use this pink elephants trick to your advantage by saying you are not going to do something but putting it in there head "we've just met so I’m not even thinking about kissing you yet. I wont think about us kissing till we get to know each other better." or if you are going the 100% honest route you can even warn them of the trick "don’t worry I’m not going to use the I’m not thinking of kissing you yet trick. you've never heard of it? that’s where I say I’m not thinking of kissing you yet so it puts the idea of us kissing in your head because in order to understand the sentence I’m not thinking of kissing you yet you first have to picture us kissing." because even though you have just told them it is a trick you have still put the idea of you kissing in there heads 5 times. by the way if reading this has put the idea of us kissing in your head STOP IT and have a cold shower lol.