smile and make eye contact.
Lets start with some basic body language. it is mainly the stuff they tried to teach you in school i.e. sit up straight, stand up straight and don’t slouch. we will begin with sitting, you should not be afraid to take up space. sit with legs apart and leaning back with your head held high, arms not crossed but beside you or being used to emphasise what you are talking about as in the way they always say Italians talk with there hands and you see a lot of passionate people almost making up there own sign language when they get excited about what there talking about. the arms thing also apply s when standing and if where you are standing is in a bar then chances are you are holding a drink so either put the drink down or hold it to the side, do not hold it in front of your chest like a shield as this is just as defensive and closed off as crossing your arms.
On subject of standing again you stand tall head held high and taking up space with your legs apart. when you walk you focus on your target not the ground and take long slow strides almost like the guy in the westerns who saunters in and the piano stops lol. now some of you are thinking that all this taking up as much space as possible and striding round like you own the place is going to make you appear to be one of those jerks who are just looking for a fight but the difference is you are going to be doing it with a big friendly smile on your face. the difference a smile makes is like night and day. there is the bouncer or ufc fighter who scares the shit out of you, then there is the big friendly giant down the pub who everyone loves. taking up space without smiling makes you look like trouble just as strong eye contact without smiling makes you look like a serial killer, so remember to always smile.
So how do you keep on smiling? well just as the mind leads the body so does the body lead the mind. when you are happy you will automatically smile so forcing a grin on your face will make it harder to maintain negative emotions. so before entering the bar/room/convention hall take a deep breath, stand tall, stick a big grin on your face and run through your affirmations or think happy thoughts if you are going to fly (yes now I am quoting peter pan lol) and every time you have a quiet moment to yourself check that grin is still in place. no I am not saying you have to grin through your entire life as people who do that tend to snap. by all means when alone be as miserable as you like and unless you are in retail then you may not need to grin all the time at work but if you are going out to have a good time then smile and have a bloody good time! if you are smiling and happy then you will make others around you more happy and as the source of good feelings you will be more attractive plus as an added benefit there happiness will boost your own turning it into a perpetual motion machine of fun and excitement.
So to recap fake it till you make it and belief that you are the life of the party will become a self fulfilling prophecy. also try to have a collection of smiles, I normally let my face rest at cat who ate the cream smile but then have my cocky grin when being seductive, my wry grin when teasing and my big happy hello smile for making eye contact and even when someone is giving me shit, I have a your an idiot and I pity you smile but there are hundreds of smiles based on what I am thinking and doing so you do not want to be stuck with just one grin like the joker as it is fake and scary. on a final note before eye contact, although it is not strictly speaking body language I will point out that as well as slowing down your walk and gestures you should slow down and lower your speech and add more pauses. think James bond and John Wayne not pee wee Herman. a low, slow and deep voice is just more confident and sexy than a 1000 word a minute neurotic and nervous guy plus the long pauses add tension which is good. if you can learn to thrive in the uncomfortable silences then you are golden.
Finally the joys of eye contact. the most important weapon in your arsenal, strong eye contact will make or break you. you MUST learn to hold strong steady eye contact. you can practice this by concentrating on just one of the other persons eyes and trying not to be the first to look away like its a game, hell practice on your pets if you like as this first step is just about gaining the ability to hold your gaze. once you have mastered this power then just like your smile and your eyebrows, your eyes will convey what you are thinking but even more as after all the eyes are the windows to the soul. this means if you lock eyes, put on your me likely grin and in your head picture her naked and bouncing up and down on you then slowly walk over keeping your eyes locked and that image in your head, just saying something simple like hi takes on a whole new meaning (think joey in friends and his how you doin' line) if you have a good awareness radius then you can actively maintain eye contact while your subconscious makes sure you don’t trip over a chair and create one of those movie moments all girls dream about.
Of course you will have to learn to calibrate that you are not over doing it but that comes with experience and it is better to go in too strong than to go in too weak as 1. it is easier to tone it down than turn it up. and 2. if she is really horny, then this will work really well, really fast lol. now on the one hand, until you learn to calibrate you may turn into one of those slimy guys so I would not do it down your favourite pub until you get the hang of it but on the other hand horny girls are going to love you so enjoy the learning process. do not worry about those for whom your sexuality was still set too high and never apologise for being a sexual man as some women just pretend to be offended to see if you crumble and again you never SAID anything for her to be offended about.
Eventually you will learn to recognise those women who want ordinary talk with a sexual under tone, those who want straight up dirty talk and those who want straight up dirty talk but want to pretend to be offended and you can then speak in the appropriate manner. but your eyes should always tell her you like what you see and you will not apologise for wanting to see more. now on to some mechanics, once she has broken eye contact there are several options open to you other than just continuing to stare in her eyes (although that works too), once she meets your gaze again there is the slow down and up check her out followed by the me like what I see grin or if she says something you don’t like there is the take away where you remove your eye contact until she wins it back or if the conversation is going well there is triangle gazing where you go from eye to lips to eye and repeat. if she starts doing it back or even does it to you first then it is definitely time to kiss her. if you do the eye contact right she will go into a sort of tiny trance state and if all the focus is on her during the seduction phase then to her the rest of the world will cease to exist so remember strong eye contact is fine to use on everybody and sexual eye contact on all the pretty ladies but seductive eye contact should be used sparingly and only when you are in a private enough place to escalate lol.